Lesson 1: my own feedback & brainstorming

My own feedback on my own lesson, as applied to myself:

Part 1 was definitely easier for me to do than Part 2, in terms of fluidity. I found it much easier to start talking (writing) about what I like, dream, think about than what specific areas I can consider myself an expert in. Interesting that my voice started to emerge on Part 1 and that I found no lack for words or ideas. In other words, it flowed like I like it to. It was natural; it was me. That was the voice, right there, that I want to continue into an entire book.

I also found it interesting that the voice I consider most mine, most authentic, most genuine, is not a particularly happy one. It is a voice fully capable of happiness and humor, but it is not in itself there yet. Rather, it contains a relatively high degree of irony (but not bitterness, thank God) and it expresses an ache for the actualization of more, better, higher. It is a voice of hope, tempered by the blade and not-so-glamorous grit of actual experience. I like it. It has a fair degree of maturity and it is honest, and it is able to tell it like it sees it. And it is in fact quite bold. Good on me.

Part 2 was where I felt I was getting into pretentiousness, to the degree that the list I was making seemed somehow separate from me and my own interests. None of the things I read on my own list has any particular hold on me. Which is a potential problem, because I am trying to figure out here what the FUCK is going to HOLD my interest for 300+ pages.

One idea I had along the way, before I forget it:

A largely autobiographical story, but each chapter ends not with the actual reality, but with (in italics, to keep it separate), my "dream" or cartoon reality. Yes. that would really be therapeutic, if nothing else. One chapter devoted to a section of my life that bears recounting; and the ending is how I would have constructed it in the real world, if the real world accepted my druthers and I was Queen of the Universe.

The more I think about the above, the more I like it.

Where truth meets fiction.

Where my inner world intersects with my external world.

Where, at the end of the book, my ultimate dream of being a published writer is achieved, in the real world. That would be a declaration of victory, and the ultimate revenge against the travails of life that my innermost being rails against, in every sense that I can imagine right now.

So for today's conclusion, I'd assess the following:

At the end of the day, I am an expert in my own life. Writing is where my inner life meets my external life, head-on. No one knows the story of my life like I know it. No one is more qualified to write about it. No one is more qualified to judge it. I don't actually want to judge it. I want to tell it like it is, like it was, and like it will be. I want to be the author of my own destiny. Literally. I think I'm on to something very real here, something that could keep me going for 300+ pages, in my own voice, and not bore me or my future audience. I want it to inspire me and others. I can do that, with this as a subject.

Probably a little more on this later.

If you are reading this, try Lesson 1. Let me know your own results. This could become a forum for aspiring writers if enough people read this, and try it for themselves.