God

GOD

God is everywhere.
Right now, he is hiding in your shoe.
He can see you when you pee
Like your lecherous old uncle
He hides in the corner and watches you go
You hear Him breathing? He hears you!

God hears everything.
He hears the bad music you play too loud
when you are stuck in traffic.
He hears you squawking in the shower,
Wishing earplugs were a Divine option.
Poor guy.

God sees everything.
He can see up your skirt.
He knows your underwear doesn't match your bra
He knows before you do when it's time for a new toothbrush
God is an ultimate Plaque Detector
and He knows who's got the falsies
and who needs 'em.

God can even smell you.
He can smell your grandmother
And He groans like an old dysplastic dog
Wishing He could crawl under the porch
and just rest, just for a minute --
Just a little shut-eye:
Wishing, so hard
That maybe he had a wife
who could take over for a bit --

But who's He got to pray to?


6/30/02