Waiting

Waiting

Waiting
Underwater
Quiet
Submerged

It’s all grey
all ugly
you are all bad
stay away

Stay away
while I
burrow sand
into my gut
to fill the hole
sink down

I pray
in my own way
to gods
bigger than I
to gods
I don’t trust

I will wait
in an inebriated state
wait
for the signal
that says
it’s safe

I am embalmed
by silt, by sand,
by lack of feeling,
lack of touch
I strive for numbness,
stasis

May I not move
until the universe has moved
and in a different time,
a different place
I might peek my head
above the waterline